16 October 2007

Girls go to Jupiter to get More Stupider

So the other day when I sat down on the bus I noticed a young girl holding a ball. It was a big orange and red globe made from paper. I said, "What is that." She said, "Its Jupiter. I had to make it for a report I am doing for a class at school." My friend on the bus asked, "So what do you know about Jupiter?" Her reply was so funny I laughed in front of her. She said, "I don't know. I am just going to look something up on the internet in my first period class."

Hope she doesn't become a doctor when she grows up.

05 October 2007

Smoke `em if ya got 'em....Please!

So this morning on the bus I was sitting up at the front just before the seats that are facing the opposite direction. An old lady got on and sat in front of me. Its the closest you can sit to someone on the bus with out sitting on their lap.

My first thought was whew this lady smells like cigarette smoke. Man its pretty over powering. Then a little breeze blew a little smell over that was worse. Sour old lady smell. Whew. I don't know if being old makes you smell more, or if its just harder to get bathed. But I was happy for the smokey smell to settle back in.

I remember an episode of M.A.S.H. where Charles was trying to learn more about what happened when people died. A man is dying in front of him and he asks him to describe whats going on. The man said, "I smell bread baking". Maybe heaven smells like baking bread. I imagine hell will smell like the bus: smoke, alcohol, B.O. and Urine.

If you want a preview of hell ride the bus.

03 October 2007

Prejudice in the Fat-shion Industry

I was shopping in my favorite grocery store the other day and I noticed they were selling sports shirts for the local college teams. As I was browsing through them I noticed that they were charging $2.00 extra for the bigger sizes. While I expect the evil empire Wal-mart to do something like this to make more money it broke my heart to see my beloved little grocery store do the same.
You may think its logical because it takes more fabric to make a bigger shirt. If that were so then shouldn't they charge less money for baby clothes?
I just think its a way to squeeze another couple dollars out of the wallet of the portly person. I think it is a sad day when the man tries to stick it to their corpulent customers. Its just another prejudice against the fat.

Fat people of the world unite and take over!