21 December 2007

National Homicidal/Suicidal Maniac Registry

So I was thinking I should start a national registry to hook up people who are suicidal with serial killers. I it would help to take away the negative stigma attached to serial killers. They could be thought of as part of the service industry, like garbage collectors or plumbers or something like that.

If you are inexperienced and try to kill yourself you may bungle the thing up. What if you just manage to leave yourself physically or mentally handicapped. If you think your were unhappy before try life with only half a head. It would free up a lot of space in prison too.

06 December 2007

Sparking Up a Conversation

This morning while waiting at the bus stop with my bus buddies I heard a terrible sound. It was like someone dragging silverware across the floor only at 35 miles an hour. I looked up and saw an Albertsons truck and underneath it there were sparks flying everywhere. They were spraying out 3 feet from either side of the under carraige. As the truck went by you could see a grocery cart stuck underneath it. It looked pretty cool.
Next time you are in the grocery store and you get a cart that pulls slightly to one side or squeaks miserably, maybe you shouldn't be too upset. That poor grocery cart has probably been through a whole lot more than you might imagine.
Anyway it was the topic of conversation on the journey to work today.