28 October 2009
06 February 2009
Its our right to be heavy right? It's a free country. Well that's what I thought. But it turns out that by becoming heavier we are actually causing a problem for the whole globe.
Scientists are saying that the increase in weight is actually causing the Earth's rotation to sag. I am not sure of all the ramifications, but it seems like the Earth's rotation has something to do with the seasons, temperatures and weather patterns we experience on this fine planet.
So forget about fossil fuels and carbon footprints, we need to go on diets. I am no slim Jim myself. So lets all go on a diet together and save the world!
25 January 2009
10 January 2009
As Obama prepares to take over as president, people have a lot of questions. The thing I wonder is if former presidents ever play practical jokes on the president coming in.
It could be something as harmless as a bucket of confetti that will fall on the the president as he walks through the White House doors. The cellophane on the toilets or short sheeting the beds might be good too. Whoopee cushions in all the White House furniture would be a nice touch.
I think those are pretty tame compared to some of the stuff you could do with presidential power. Order a pizza to the residence of Dmitry Medvedev, Russia's president or get the secret service to put some burning doo doo on the porch of Hugo Chávez Frías, Venezuela's president.
Then there are the really great gags that only a president could do. Changing the color of 'Thee' button from red to green. "Whoops you just launch the nukes. Gotcha!" I think the night before the inauguration it would be funny to attack a bunch of countries. Imagine the surprise when red phone in the oval office is ringing of the hook with angry leaders complaining about the unprovoked attacks.
I think Bush will leave a dead fish in a drawer of the desk in the oval office. I maybe giving him too much credit though. He is probably the type to drop a load in the White House bathroom and leave without flushing it.
Whatever it ends up being I wish I could be there to see his reaction.