We're all in tents with porpoises

Review: The Weber Brothers - Baddest Band In The Land

2012-01-15T23:31:00.001-07:00

When Ifirst listened to The Weber Brothers new CD Baddest Band in the Land,I pictured a bunch of guys in their late fifties who spent the last 30 yearspaying their dues playing in a Classic Rock cover band. Boy was I wrong.

Brothers Ryan Weber (vocals, guitar) and Sam Weber (bass) wereborn in 1980-83 in Baltimore, MD. They started playing in 1992. By the time Samwas 15 he was playing in bars at night and then getting up to go to school thenext morning.

In 2001 Ryan emailed Ronnie Hawkins and through that email Ryanand Sam ended up working his farm in the day and being schooled by him atnight. They eventually became official members of his band before breaking outon their own.

In the line-up for the Baddest Band in the Land the WeberBrothers are joined by: Emmet Van Etten (Drums), Shai Peer (Keyboards) and TimBracken (Multi-Instrumentalist).

Baddest Band in the Land gets off to a strongstart with a hard rocking song “Stay in the Game.” It has a groove that remindsme of something Zeppelin would play. It’s littered with excerpts of Americanpolitical activist, Mario Savio’s “Bodies upon the gears” speech. The vocalsand keys remind me of the Doors. It’s probably my favorite track on theCD.

“Can’t Help Feeling Bad,” is like a cross between BruceSpringsteen and David Bowie. “Nothing We Can’t Get Through” reminds me a littleof the Flaming Lips. Then the band switches it up with a classic Rockabillystyle song, “Sell, Sell, Sell”.

The track “Who Ever Would Have Thought” is the low point of theCD for me; it’s a less catchy rip off of “Whiter Shade of Pale”. Things look upthough with, “Things Are Looking Up For You.” It’s a cross between Tom Pettyand The Who. The song “Panic Attack” could easily be an AC/DC song with alittle REM thrown in. Baddest Band in the Land Ends with “Different Day”which reminds me of “Trampled Under Foot,” by Zeppelin with some REO Speedwagonand Kansas thrown in. The whole album seems to be sprinkled with a bit of theBeatles.

If you took all the best recordings from classic rock, dicedthem into little pieces and glued them back together in different places youwould have this CD. It was recorded live over two days live. It feels nice andraw. The vocals and musicianship are great and the band really lives up to itsclaim of being the “Baddest Band in the Land”.

I would recommend this CD to anyone who likes Classic Rock,Heavy Rock or Album Oriented Rock.

4.5/5 Stars

Key Tracks: Stay in the Game, Can’t Help Feeling Bad, Different Day

Kirk Bullough –Muzikreviews.com Contributor

Review: Thin Lizzy - Live at the BBC

2012-01-15T23:23:00.000-07:00

Thin Lizzy was founded inlate 1969 when guitarist Eric Bell and organist Eric Wrixon went to see theband Orphanage, which featured vocalist Phil Lynott and drummer Brian Downey.They formed with Lynott taking on bass as well as singing. Eric Wrixon leftshortly after.

The band put out severalrecords that charted in their homeland of Ireland, but failed to do muchoutside of their own country. At the time the band was playing Celtic musicinfused with spatterings of Hard Rock.

In 1973 Thin Lizzy madeit to number 6 on the UK charts with their version of a Celtic folk song“Whiskey in the Jar”.

The following albumfailed to chart and Eric Bell left the band. After playing with a few temporayreplacements including Gary Moore, the band settled on 18 year old Scottishguitarist Brian Robertson, and Californian Scott Gorham. In 1976 this lineup ofthe band recorded the album Jailbreak which contained the tracks“Jailbreak” and “The Boys are Back in Town”.

The band went throughseveral changes from 1978 – 1983 when the band finally broke up. Phil Lynottfocused on his solo career. In 1986 there were whispers of getting the bandback together, but Lynott died that year at the age of 36.

Universal released a 2 CDand 6 CD version of Live at the BBC, which cover the different eras ofThin Lizzy and the BBC. The Live at the BBC 2 CD set is like a greatest hitsof the 6 CD box set.

Disc one containsmaterial from 1971-1974 which gives you a great feel for what the band was likein its original form. Songs like “Showdown” and “Slow Blues” showcase somegreat bluesy guitar solos. “Suicide” shows off some great slide guitar playing.Lynott’s ability to sing gruff vocals on songs like “The Rocker” and then singequally as well on a quiet song like, “Randolph’s Tango” is proof of hisamazing versatility.

Disc two covers1974-1983. This CD covers more of the hit songs from the band. It has songslike “The Boys are Back in Town” with their signature sound of two guitarsplaying leads in harmony and “Jailbreak” among others.

I was also impressed to find a Reggae song, “Half Castle” andmore of a Jazz sound on the song, “Dancing in the Moonlight” in thiscollection. They save the best for last with the final track being “The Boysare Back in Town” from a concert in 1983 at the Regal Theatre.

It’s a shame that Lynott didn’t get to see his music on the bigscreen in Toy Story. Or the new generation of fans that are discoveringThin Lizzy’s music now. I still hear a few Thin Lizzy songs regularly on theradio and there are still incarnations of the band that still tour, but withoutLynott it just doesn’t seem like Thin Lizzy.

I probably wouldn’t suggest this collection as your firstintroduction to Thin Lizzy, but for fans of the band these CDs are a goldmine.I also think Universal should get a pat on the back for making Live at theBBC available as a 2 CD or 6 CD collections.

5/5 Stars

Key Tracks: Whiskey inthe Jar, Jailbreak, The Boys are Back in Town

Kirk Bullough –Muzikreviews.com Contributor

Review: Bobby Kimball and Jimi Jamison - Kimball Jamison

2012-01-15T23:14:00.000-07:00

When I saw that FrontierRecords was putting together an album with Bobby Kimball (Toto) and JimiJamison (Survivor) I was thrilled. The song “Rosanna” was the soundtrack for myJr. High School days. Kimball’s moustache was in style back then too.

Bobby Kimball played in Totofrom the beginning in 1977 until 1984 and then came back in 1997. He playedwith many different bands in-between his engagements with Toto. Toto broke upin 2008.

Survivor was also formedin 1977. Jimi Jamison joined Survivor in 1983 when singer Dave Bickler sufferedvoice problems that caused him to leave. Jamison stayed with the band until1993. He also played with many different bands in-between his breaks fromSurvivor. On November 15, 2011, Jimi Jamison announced he is returning toSurvivor.

On this CD you have two extremely experienced singers and a bandof top-notch musicians: Alex Beyrodt (Guitars & Lead Guitar), Mat Sinner(Bass), Jimmy Kresic (Keyboards), Martin Schmidt (Drums & Percussion). Theproduction is very clean which makes it very enjoyable to listen to.

The very first song, “Worth Fighting For” on Kimball Jamisonis exactly what I was hoping to hear on this CD. It reminds me a lot of theearly Toto sound off their first couple of albums. The melody is very catchywith Kimball singing the highs and Jamison singing the lows. Their voicescomplement each other very well. It reminds me a little of the Toto song“English Eyes”.

My favorite song on Kimball Jamison is “Get Back in theGame”. It starts out with a capella vocals and then a wall of guitars, bass,drums and keyboards kick in. After a little guitar solo everything drops outand you hear a guitar playing something that sounds very similar to the riff inDavid Lee Roth’s “Going Crazy”. This song has some great opportunities for Kimballand Jamison to show off their vocal ranges. They both rise to the challenge.The lyrics, “Time to get up and get back in the game, little by little ‘tilyou’re out of the rain, oh get back in the game,” could very well apply to thecareers that each of them have had.

Looking for something that sounds more like Survivor? “I didEverything Wrong” will satisfy that craving. This song is a nice power ballad.The melody is very catchy and the guitars are hypnotic. It feels like you arebeing teleported to the 80’s when you hear the lyric, “How I wish that I couldturn back time, so that I could make it right”.

Kimball and Jamison seem to have tried to put some songs on KimballJamison that don’t sound like Toto or Survivor. They still sound like Totoand Survivor anyway, but who cares? Why start from scratch trying to get a newfollowing? People will buy this album because they love Toto and Survivor. Ifthey are lucky they may get some new fans that aren’t familiar with their work.I applaud Kimball for keeping his moustache too. John Oates looks so weirdwithout his. It’s your look, own it! Most people who buy this album will behappy that it contains songs that sound like their former bands.

For me this is the album that should have been Toto VI. If youliked Toto or Survivor you will love Kimball Jamison.

4/5 Stars

Key Tracks: Worth WaitingFor, Get Back in the Game, I Did Everything Wrong

Kirk Bullough –Muzikreviews.com Contributor

Review: Fergie Fredericksen - Happiness is the Road

2012-01-15T23:04:00.000-07:00

When I was 15 years oldmy brother took me to see Toto. It was the Isolation tour and the singerjust happened to be Fergie Frederiksen. I hadn’t stayed up on what happened toFrederiksen after his stint in Toto, but a few of the songs on that CD arestill some of my favorites.

I was curious as to whatFrederiksen had been up to so I did a few Google searches. It seems thatFrederiksen has had a few ups and downs since his Toto days. He even retiredfor a while to run a restaurant with his father, but quickly realized there wasno life for him without music.

I was saddened to learnthat he had been diagnosed with an inoperable cancer earlier this year. Itturns out, to the surprise of his doctors he is now almost cancer free. This isthe backdrop for Happiness Is The Road. This is an album that is steepedin emotion. Happiness is the Road is just about enjoying being alive,enjoying the journey without worrying about the destination too much.

There are some greatmusicians on this album: Dennis Ward (Bass Guitar, Guitars, Keyboards,Background Vocals and Producer), Dirk Bruinenberg (Drums), Nathan Eshman(Guitars) and Eric Ragno (Keyboards).

“Angel (Mirror to yourSoul)” is a nice way to start this album. It’s has a really catchy chorus andit rocks pretty good. The sound reminds me of Asia or Survivor. “Follow YourHeart” seems to be the show piece of the album. It has great lyrics andFrederiksen knows just how squeeze every last drop of emotion out of thevocals. It starts quiet with just piano and vocals and then builds into nicepower ballad.

The catchy keyboards andguitars in “Lyin Eyes” remind me of a cross between The Cars and Journey.“Writing On The Wall” has a nice instrumental break at the end that reminds meof Toto quite a bit.

My favorite track on Happinessis the Road is “The One”. It starts out with just keyboard and then theother instruments come in in-between the rest to accent the beat. The guitarstarts to play a muted lick that reminds me of the guitar part during theverses of Toto’s “Hold the Line”. “The One” is a very catchy song. There is anice guitar solo doubled by the bass in parts and all the keyboards create anice ambience for the song.

The album ends strongwith a song in a similar style to the previous one. “The Savior,” has akeyboard part that is ridiculously catchy. It’s so happy it could put an ogreinto a good mood. The call and answer solos between the guitar and keyboardkeep up the quick momentum of the song. The song ends with Frederiksen singing,“No need to worry, I will stay around whenever you need.” It is all thereassurance I need to know that he’s gonna stick around and rock us for many yearsto come.

I really enjoyedlistening to Happiness Is The Road. I secretly hoped there would be somemembers from Toto playing on it. But the same pleasure centers in my brain weresatisfied by the talented musicians that did play on this CD. If you likedToto, Asia, Survivor, Kansas or Journey you will like this album.

4/5 Stars

Key Tracks: FollowYour Heart, The One, The Savior

Kirk Bullough –Muzikreviews.com Contributor

Review: Evan Cobb – Falling Up

2012-01-15T22:51:00.001-07:00

There is this old joke that goes like this: One musician asksanother, “Do you read music?” The other replies, “Not enough to hurt myplaying.”

With a master’s degree inJazz studies Evan Cobb lays this old adage to rest. Not only is he welleducated in Jazz he also teaches college. On this album Falling Up professorCobb schools us in the subject of how to make a great Jazz CD.

Evan Cobb leads the monthly jam sessions at the Nashville JazzWorkshop and many of these songs were born from his preparations for that.

There is a great lineupof musicians on this album: Matt White (trumpet), Bruce Dudley (piano),Jonathan Wires (bass), Joshua Hunt (drums) & special guest Jeff Coffin(tenor saxophone).

My favorite track on FallingUp is “Tip Tap Toe”. It starts with a nice piano roll into some Bossa Novastyle comping, in come the drums and the upright bass walking all over theplanet. After the mood is laid out, the sax and trumpet duet begins. They playsome catchy riffs in harmony and then branch off into some amazing solos. Firstsax, then piano, trumpet, bass and then back into the main riff and a cleanfinish.

“Eastern Bell Feel” has agreat start with sparse cymbal, upright bass and left hand piano in half time.The trumpet and sax come in playing a lick that I would hesitate to callmelodic and yet, it is in its own outside way. The piece kicks into full tempoand sounds like your traditional Jazz song with walking bass and catchy melody.The piece switches in and out of the two styles with various solos over thetop, ending with quick stabs by the rhythm section, littered with sax andtrumpet runs in-between and finally a drum roll and a crash cymbal to end.

I won’t question acollege professor’s misspelling of “modernism”; because “Mahdernism”seemsto be the way you spell exquisite in Jazz speak. This number starts with a tenorsax/baritone sax duet followed by some great piano doubled by the bass. Itsounds like the perfect back drop to a spy movie. Cobb mixes it up a bit andthen starts the solos. First we hear from the piano which is a pretty straightforward bebop style solo, followed by tenor sax, baritone sax, then the tenorand baritone trade of riffs, and then start playing over each other. Madnessensues when the trumpet decides to weigh in to the already cacophonous fightbetween the baritone and tenor saxophones. The horns hit their peak, trail offand then things get really quiet with an upright bass solo. The drummer playsbehind him quietly hitting rim shots and cymbals. All the instruments come backin to play the original theme, change it up a few times and end with a nicesting.

Falling Up combines classic bebop style Jazz with moremodern Avant Garde style solos. The tone that Cobb gets with his sax is veryrich and soothing. I would highly recommend it to anyone who likes Be-bop styleJazz.

Key Tracks: Tip Tap Toe,Eastern Bell Feel, Mahdernism

4.5 / 5 Stars

Kirk Bullough – Muzikreviews.comContributor

Review – The Magnificent: The Magnificent

2011-12-14T18:15:00.003-07:00

Pair up an amazing guitarist (Torsti Spoof/Leverage) with an equally amazing singer (Michael Eriksen/Circus Maximus) and you have the potential for something really amazing. Call the band “The Magnificent” and you have really set your sites high.

Rounding out the lineup is Rolf Pilve on drums, Sami Norbacka on bass and Jukka Karinen on keyboards.

Their debut album The Magnificent starts off on the right foot with a very catchy “Holding on to Your Love”. This song has very distinctive rhythms and I really like the lead guitar lick. There are two guitars playing in harmony and then doing an artificial harmonic trick that reminds me of Lamb of God’s, “Laid to Rest”. The vocals and harmonies make this song sound enormous. The balance between the guitars and keyboards is perfect. The whole feel of the song is intensified by all of the cymbals that are being knocked around in this tune.

“Bullets” is probably my favorite song on the album, because when you have this kind of fire power in a band you don’t want to waste it on a bunch of love songs. The lyrics, “some may fall, some stand tall, but there’re bullets enough to take us all down, down to the ground” is a reminder that no matter what station you rise to in this life you are just as mortal as the next person.

“Harvest Moon” is a great way to finish this collection. It’s a nice power ballad with lots of beefy guitars, bright keyboards and a bit of room to just sit back and take it all in. After all of the blistering guitar solos, deep drum fills and spine tingling bass runs this is a nice way to gently bring you back down to reality.

I would say the sound of this band could best be described as what the offspring of Whitesnake and Europe would sound like were they to hook up.

The musicianship and vocals are masterful, but where this album lacks is in the lyrics, if this band can come up with some meaningful lyrics that resonate with their listeners they will be unstoppable.

Rating: 3.5 / 5 Stars

Key Tracks: Holding on to Your Love, Bullets, Harvest Moon

Kirk Bullough – Muzikreviews.com Contributor

December 02, 2011

Tracks
1. Holding On To Your Love
2. Cheated By Love
3. Memories
4. Angel
5. Satin & Lace
6. Love’s On The Line
7. Bullets
8. Smoke & Fire
9. Tired Of Dreaming
10. If It Takes All Night
11. Lost
12. Harvest Moon

Review – Beggars & Thieves – We are the Broken Hearted

2011-12-14T18:08:00.000-07:00

In 1989 Louie Merlino (vocals) called up his buddy Ronnie Mancuso (guitar) and convinced him to move from Los Angeles to New York where he was living at the time. They wrote half of their first album in a week. After about 6 gigs Beggars & Thieves landed a record deal with Atlantic Records. Their first single “Beggars & Thieves” made it to Billboards Top 40. After their A & R man left Atlantic the band was stuck in limbo. They signed on to Epic where they recorded their second album Look What You Create but Epic never released it.

By this time grunge had taken off and record companies weren’t interested in pop-metal anymore. In 1997 Look What You Create was finally released on MTM Music. The band released a third album, The Grey Album in 1999 also with MTM Music.

In 2010 Beggars & Thieves reunited to play at Firefest in Nottingham, England where they received great reviews and were voted biggest surprise of the festival.

Now on the momentum of Firefest, Beggars & Thieves have released their latest album, We Are The Broken Hearted. They have added Erik Gloege on drums and Blake Newman on bass to complete the band.

We Are The Broken Hearted starts strong with “We Come Undone”. It has a great driving bass line, nice harmonies and an array of little guitar sounds that you really need headphones to appreciate in its fullest.

“Oil & Water” is probably my favorite track on the album. It opens with some guitar that reminds me of AC/DC’s “For Those About To Rock” and then fades into a nice ballad with raunchy, distorted guitar sounds, precise bass parts and the steady drum beat with the occasional tasteful drum fill. I love this slow heavy feel. Over the top of this ocean of heavy is a nice acoustic guitar and “Robert Plant” style vocals.

In the middle of “Innocence” is a cool bridge where everything cuts out except the bass and drums, then leads into a jammin’ guitar solo. “Never Gonna See You Again” starts with a hypnotic acoustic guitar playing alongside a lonesome hi-hat. In come the vocals and then some really cool bass and drums kick in. About half way through the guitar solo some really nice piano work kicks in giving the whole song a different feel. The song then cuts back to just guitar and hi-hat, builds into one last chorus with everything and then ends with just guitar and the hi-hat.

Things change up a little when you get to “Beautiful Loser” with its dual slide guitar intro. This song is another great mix between acoustic and electric guitars. The pre-chorus reminds me a little of Slaughter. There are some nice arpeggios in this song and another spot on guitar solo. The vocals remind me of Chris Cornell. “Seven Sounds” is a little heavier with a wall of guitars and an Axel Rose style vocal. There is a great melodic guitar lick in the chorus that I like quite a bit. “Stranded” starts with Mandolin and acoustic guitar, everything kicks in and Merlino’s gruff vocals start to weave a story. “I remember, stranded in the streets of Brooklyn, all alone under the dark red sky, find a bar and go inside, demons must be fed, two shots of mercy fuel the gods their singing in your head”.

“Wash Away” reminds me of “All Night Thing” by Temple of the Dog. It’s a nice soulful slow song, with nice harmonies. “Midnight Blue” starts a lot different with some synthesizer sound effects and then into some slightly distorted guitars that remind me of the Alarm. The guitar solo in this one has the coolest flanger effects and the song ends with a beautiful piano part as all the other instruments fade.

The album finishes up strong with “We are the Brokenhearted”, an anthem that reflects the turmoil the world is going through, encouraging unity instead of despair.

We Are The Broken Hearted is littered with smart, well-crafted songs, with catchy melodies and great rock riffs. Merlino can still belt it out and Mancuso is better than ever.

Mancuso said of this release, “This isn’t just some guy’s trying to have a little fun reliving the past. We are very serious about this. We want to compete with the big boys!”

What they have created is great album. I hope this is the vehicle that finally propels them to the stardom that was stolen from them and is rightfully theirs.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars

Key Tracks: Oil & Water, Wash Away, We are the Broken Hearted

Kirk Bullough – Muzikreviews.com Contributor

November 30, 2011

Tracks
1. We Come Undone
2. Oil & Water
3. Innocence
4. Never Gonna See You Again
5. Beautiful Losers
6. Seven Seconds
7. Stranded
8. Wash Away
9. Midnight Blue
10. We Are The Brokenhearted

Review: The Beatles with Tony Sheridan - The Beatles and Tony Sheridan:First Recordings 50th Anniversary Edition

2011-11-28T09:49:00.006-07:00

In 1960 the Beatles were playing in Hamburg, Germany where they met a young singer and guitarist named Tony Sheridan. They hit it off and by their second trip to Germany in 1961 they ended up playing with him quite often with either the Beatles backing Tony, or Tony sitting in with the Beatles.
German producer Bert Kaempfert of Polydor, took in one of their shows and suggested they record together. He signed both acts the same night at his kitchen table. The Beatles at the time were John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison and Pete Best.
The Beatles recorded 7 songs during this time and were paid in advance for another session that took place in 1962. At this later session they recorded the backup tracks for “Sweet Georgia Brown” and “Swanee River” on which Sheridan was able to record his parts the next day. It seems that the recording of “Swanee River” was never released and is now lost.
Of the songs that the Beatles had recorded in Hamburg, two were Beatles songs, “Ain’t She Sweet” and and the instrumental, “Cry for a Shadow”. Polydor Records expected that Sheridan would be the next big star and so they made the mistake of letting the Beatles get away. They went back to Liverpool, picked up Brian Epstein as manager, replaced Pete Best with Ringo Starr and the rest is history.
There have been other versions of the Tony Sheridan songs recorded and there has been some confusion over which tracks the Beatles did or didn’t play on. The Beatles with Tony Sheridan: First Recordings 50th Anniversary Edition contains all of the tracks that the Beatles played on in those sessions except for the missing “Swanee River”. This album contains the stereo and mono versions of these songs as well as the U.S. Versions which had some guitar and vocal overdubs to make them sound edgier.
Being able to hear what the Beatles sounded like before they found 'their sound' makes this album an important piece of rock and roll history. The Beatles with Tony Sheridan: First Recordings 50th Anniversary Edition is a must for any Beatles fan.

Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Key Tracks: Ain’t She Sweet, Cry For A Shadow

Tracks
1. Ain't She Sweet (U.S. version) - The Beatles
2. My Bonnie - Tony Sheridan And The Beatles
3. The Saints (When the Saints Go Marching In) - Tony Sheridan And The Beatles
4. Cry for a Shadow - The Beatles
5. Why - Tony Sheridan And The Beatles
6. If You Love Me, Baby (Take Out Some Insurance on Me, Baby) (U.S. version) - Tony Sheridan And The Beatles
7. Nobody's Child (U.S. version) - Tony Sheridan And The Beatles
8. Sweet Georgia Brown (New lyrics) - Tony Sheridan And The Beatles
9. Ain't She Sweet - The Beatles
10. My Bonnie (English intro) - Tony Sheridan And The Beatles
11. If You Love Me, Baby (Take Out Some Insurance on Me, Baby) - Tony Sheridan And The Beatles
12. Nobody's Child - Tony Sheridan And The Beatles
13. Sweet Georgia Brown (U.S. version) - Tony Sheridan And The Beatles
14. My Bonnie (German intro) - Tony Sheridan And The Beatles
15. The Saints (Medley version) - Tony Sheridan And The Beatles
16. Cry for a Shadow (Medley version 1) - The Beatles
17. Sweet Georgia Brown - Tony Sheridan And The Beatles
18. My Bonnie (Medley version) - Tony Sheridan And The Beatles
19. Cry for a Shadow (Medley version 2) - The Beatles
20. Ain't She Sweet - The Beatles
21. My Bonnie - Tony Sheridan And The Beatles
22. When the Saints Go Marching In - Tony Sheridan And The Beatles
23. Cry for a Shadow - The Beatles
24. Why - Tony Sheridan And The Beatles
25. Sweet Georgia Brown (New lyrics) - Tony Sheridan And The Beatles
26. My Bonnie (English intro) - Tony Sheridan And The Beatles
27. If You Love Me, Baby (Take Out Some Insurance on Me, Baby) - Tony Sheridan And The Beatles
28. Nobody's Child - Tony Sheridan And The Beatles
29. My Bonnie (German intro) - Tony Sheridan And The Beatles
30. The Saints (Medley version) - Tony Sheridan And The Beatles
31. Cry for a Shadow (Medley version 1) - The Beatles
32. Sweet Georgia Brown - Tony Sheridan And The Beatles
33. My Bonnie (Medley version) - Tony Sheridan And The Beatles
34. Cry for a Shadow (Medley version 2) - The Beatles

Review: Royal Hunt - Show Me How To Live

2011-11-28T09:39:00.002-07:00

Let the hunt begin! Cue horse sounds, bring in the timpani and medieval battle music, add some swords clanging, fade in the operatic voices then cresendo to a boil.
Sounds like the makings of some great cinema and it is inside my head where I am picturing knights going out to battle their enemies and DC Cooper is back to lead that charge.
Show Me How To Live is a return to the classic Royal Hunt sound. It’s teeming with big, slick melodic arrangements, layers of glossy keyboards and jaw dropping guitar licks. A lot of care has been taken to make everything sound larger than life. Royal Hunt (est. 1989) are Andre Andersen (Keyboard) , DC Cooper (Vocals), Allan Sorensen (Drums), Andreas Passmark (Bass) and Jonas Larsen (Guitar).
“Another Man Down” starts slow with some mythical sounding piano and builds into a powerful, impassioned rock anthem. The Bass at the beginning of this song really creates the mood. The chorus sounds majestic with its harmonized vocals dripping with luring textures. I love the wah driven guitar solo in the middle of the song. It ends with DC singing “I open my eyes and I envy another man down” as everything fades out.
“An Empty Shell” is anything but empty with its driving keyboards and rhythm section. There is an amazing lightning fast keyboard solo towards the end that reminds me of something off of Yngwie Malmsteen’s Rising Force, followed by an equally scorching guitar solo.
“Hard Rain’s Coming” is a pleasant surprise with its harpsichord intro shadowed by overdriven guitar power chords. There is some amazing bass work in the interlude and the guitar lines just seem to float like a feather over the top of it.
“Half Past Loneliness” starts with a hypnotizing bass line and that amazing snare sound peppers this whole album like ‘it’ was the spice of life.
The rest the album finishes strong with another anthem, “Show Me How To Live” and wraps it up with “Angel’s Gone” with its classical pizzicato strings, timpani and organ sounds leading into a great guitar solo and more colossal vocals. This song builds to monumental heights adding guitar solos on top of keyboard solos on top of drums solos with the bass holding everything together like glue. A few orchestra hits, some really cool drums and, “sigh”, the battle is won!
Show Me How To Live has made the wait for a new Royal Hunt album worth it. Certainly this strong release will close out the year with tremendous momentum that will carry them into 2012 and beyond.

Rating 4 out of 5 stars

Key Tracks: Another Man Down, Show Me How To Live, Hard Rains Coming

Tracks

1. One More Day
2. Another Man Down
3. An Empty Shell
4. Hard Rain's Coming
5. Half Past Loneliness
6. Show Me How To Live
7. Angel's Gone

Review: Roy Roberts - Strange Love

2011-11-28T09:30:00.003-07:00

Is it possible to call an album the blues when it makes me feel good? If this is what Strange Love feels like I could easily become and addict.
Blues Legend Roy Roberts has one of those voices that feels like an old friend. I liked it from the first listen. It’s the perfect courier to carry Roy’s thought provoking lyrics over a sea of tasty guitar licks.
This album starts strong with a funky little blues number called “My Love Bone”. It has a nice groove and the keyboard part takes me back to Stevie Wonder’s “Superstition”, which seems fitting since Roy has played with Stevie.
Listening to “I Truly Love You” I kept trying to nail down what it reminded me of. After listening to it for a couple of days I realize that it had the same feel as “This Old Heart of Mine” by the Isley Brothers. I think you can hear B.B. King’s influence in “Hey Baby” and “I Can’t Wait” sounds like a cross between Chuck Berry and Stevie Ray Vaughan.
My favorite track on the album is “A Woman Needs Love”. If Plato were alive today Roy would give him a run for his money when it comes to philosophy. Here is a man that has lived and is willing to pass on some of his wisdom. I’ll take it!
The arrangements on Strange Love are just right. Every note seems to be completely thought out. There isn’t a stray note anywhere.

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Key Tracks: A Woman Needs Love, The Next Time, I Truly Love You

Review: Vangough – Kingdom of Ruin

2011-11-28T09:13:00.006-07:00

Kingdom of Ruin is an epic journey down the rabbit hole.

The opening track “Disloyal” begins with a music box and the haunting voice of Clay Withrow singing softly and a falsetto voice doubling it in the background. “Reach inside my open chest, feel around there’s nothing left,” and then Wham! you are hit with a wall of chunky, thick rhythm guitars, chest pounding bass and a plethora of double kick drum rolls.

There is nothing better than lightning fast synchronized guitar and bass runs and Vangough deliver.

If this were the way the rest of the album went it would be a great album, but it’s so much better. About a third of the way through the song they pull the foundation right out from under song. They start playing ethereal, spatial material. The guitar lays down some really outside, dissonant lines. After some whammy bar dives they head into a big finish with big melodic vocals and harmonies. The song ends with a bit of eerie keyboard and some scream-o type moaning.

The rest of the album gets more diverse as it moves along, from the deep drop tuned guitars in “Choke Faint Drown,” to the amazing keyboards at the beginning “Abandon Me”. “Drained” has its double bass drum rolls and bendy guitar riffs. There is acoustic guitar sprinkled all throughout this album.

All of these tracks build up to “Kingdom of Ruin”. This is where the album diverges from the straight and narrow path of progressive rock and starts throwing in some more interesting elements: piano, scream-o, guitar harmonics tricks and acoustic guitar solos. “The Transformation” has pizzicato strings and cello. “The Rabbit Kingdom” has an almost classical feel.

“Stay” starts out with acoustic guitar and then weaves between a ballad and a classic rock track with an intense bluesy solo at the end that finishes with a nice Rhodes piano sound. “Sounds of Wonder” has just a hint of jazz that reminds me a little of Pat Metheny.

I think my favorite track on the album is “A Father’s Love” which is a beautiful piano ballad. Heart felt lyrics and gut wrenching vocals make this one a must listen.

The pace is picked up again with “Requiem for a Fallen King” and then to “An Empire Shattered” which reminds me of bands like Queen, Supertramp and Yes. Things slow down again with another piano ballad, “Alice”.

The album ends with “The Garden Time Forgot”. I can’t place it in a genre, it’s like someone took the best music of the last 3 decades, and a few pan flutes and threw them into a blender and poured out this last song. You could really say that of this whole album. You can tell Vangough loves music.

Vangough are: Clay Withrow (vocals, guitars, bass, keyboards), Brandon Lopez (drums), Corey Mast (keyboards), Jeren Martin (bass)

Key Tracks: Abandon Me, Alice, A Father’s Love

An Outside the Box Idea for the LDS Church to Gain Converts

2010-10-20T17:38:00.003-06:00

As I heard the news about the Crystal Cathedral having to file chapter 11 bankruptcy today it occurred to me that there were opportunities there for the LDS church.

The Crystal Cathedral has over 10,000 members that attend weekly services. The Hour of Power TV show has something like 20 million viewers.

A rich church like the LDS church could benefit by buying out these churches that are struggling to meet their obligations.

The Crystal Cathedral needs 55 million dollars. What a bargain, 20,010,000 members for 55 million dollars.

There could be some infrastructure problems with taking on so many new members at once. The Church would probably have to re-baptize all the new members which would be quite a chore unless they did it by some kind of proxy.

As far as room for the new members in existing building the church would be fine. All LDS buildings contain basket ball courts which can be used as an overflow when the chapel is too crowded. The audio is also broadcast into the foyers on either side of the chapel.

The aging population of the Crystal Cathedrals members may provide service opportunities. It will increase the pool of widows, which has the added benefit of providing interesting stories for LDS General Conferences.

Another possible benefit is that attendance in the Gospel Essentials class will sky rocket.

Once the LDS church has assimilated all the members of the Crystal Cathedral they can start buying up other fledgling churches. If they run out of building space they can start dividing members up into Facebook chat groups and hold services that way. Communion might be harder to work out. A drive through Communion may work if the number of members gets too large and tithing could be paid online through Paypal.

I really think there are some opportunities out there for church growth if people are willing to think outside the box.

2010-08-30T14:12:00.004-06:00

I said I would create a G blues backup track if I had time. Here is one. Nothing amazing, but its great for playing your scales to. It lets you hear the different sounds the scales have. Every exercise I have posted so far can be played over this track. Put it on repeat if you really want a good work out.

G Blues Backing Track

2010-08-30T14:06:00.001-06:00

This is where guitar starts to get fun. Using the same chord progression and the same pentatonic minor scale, we can add 2 more notes and create a whole different sound. The minor scale. The red notes are still G, the gray notes are the ones from the pentatonic minor scale that we have been playing with. The purple notes are the new ones. A and Eb (can also be called D#). So go back to the chord progression I posted before and try playing this scale over it. Practice until you figure out how to make it sound good. Its not at easy as the previous scales, but you will get used to which notes sound good where.

G Pentatonic Major

2010-08-30T13:57:00.001-06:00

Ok now for a little twist. If you move the G Pentatonic Minor scale down four frets you get the G Pentatonic Major. The red dots are still the G notes. See how the form is the same, but where the root notes(G) have changed position? You can also play this scale over the same 12 bar blues in G that is listed below. I think of it as having a bit of a country sound to it. The notes you resolve on are in different places now. Give it a try and email me if you have any questions.

G Blues Scale

2010-08-30T13:33:00.001-06:00

This is the G Blues Scale. It is identical to the G Minor Pentatonic except that it has the Flat 5ths also known as the Blue Note. I colored them blue so you would remember that. The red notes are still the Root notes. In this case they are the note G. Try practicing playing to the chord chart I posted yesterday. Try adding these Blue notes in to what you were doing yesterday. I think they sound great as passing tones on your way to another note. But every rule can be broken as well. Its all about what sounds good to you.

G Pentatonic Minor Scale

2010-08-30T13:28:00.001-06:00

This is the pentatonic minor scale. It sounds great over the 12 bar blues in G. It also sounds great over other music in the key of G. The notes that are red are all G. You should record your self playing the 12 bar blues in G and then practice soloing over the chords using this scale played at the 3rd fret. Try ending... on a red note. It seems to resolve well. You don't always have to end a phrase that way, but its a good place to start. Just build little phrases of two or three notes ending on a red note. Branch out from there. If I get time I will upload a 12 bar blues in G for you to practice with.

These are the chords for the G Blues Progression

2010-08-30T13:23:00.001-06:00

The numbers show which finger to use for a note. The dots above the diagram are stings that are played open. The strings with X's aren't played.

G Blues Progression

2010-08-30T13:15:00.000-06:00

Thought I would upload this for a few friends of mine. Here is the chord progression for the 12 bar blues in the key of G.

What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.

2009-10-28T23:29:00.005-06:00

Last week I was sick with the H1N1 virus. It was miserable, but not so terrible as I thought it would be. I got to thinking about how the whole thing started out as the 'Mexican Flu' because it originated in Mexico, but the Mexican government didn't want it to be named after Mexico. Then it became the 'Swine Flu' because it originated in pigs. But the pig farmers didn't want it named after pigs because it would hurt sales. So it finally became the H1N1 virus.

I think the USA should claim and embrace it. We have been a bit down during this recession and could use something to be proud of.

The H1N1 or the USA-flu has taken the world by storm. It seems to have penetrated every continent, visited every clime and swept every country very quickly. A lot of money is going into creating vaccines for this virus. Its getting a lot of media attention, but the biggest reason why I think the USA should take owner ship of the H1N1 virus is because its the only thing we have managed to export from this country with any major degree of success in the last 10 years (besides jobs).

Earth's Rotation Sagging

2009-02-06T15:52:00.008-07:00

I was listening to a science program today that has really gotten me worried. It seems that the The Obesity Crisis in the US is more serious than I first realized. I am not sure if its the lack of exercise, the bad nutrition or a combination of things, but overall our nation is getting heavier.

Its our right to be heavy right? It's a free country. Well that's what I thought. But it turns out that by becoming heavier we are actually causing a problem for the whole globe.

Scientists are saying that the increase in weight is actually causing the Earth's rotation to sag. I am not sure of all the ramifications, but it seems like the Earth's rotation has something to do with the seasons, temperatures and weather patterns we experience on this fine planet.

So forget about fossil fuels and carbon footprints, we need to go on diets. I am no slim Jim myself. So lets all go on a diet together and save the world!

P. S. If you need help I know someone.

Kermit the Danged Lying Frog

2009-01-28T22:45:00.003-07:00

So, I just realized that Kermit is either liar or an idiot. I think he has been deliberately trying to deceive the masses. When I realized this I was shocked and tried to deny it was true. I was pained and felt like maybe it was my own fault. I was so angry. It was very depressing, the prospect that a furry green frog would be so deceitful was disturbing. Just when things seemed the worst I started feeling better and just accepted that people (and frogs) just lie. Its nothing personal. Just a marketing tool.

You see I have been listening to the song the Rainbow Connection for years. Its a catchy little tune. Who can resist the sound of a banjo. It draws you into its hypnotic frenzy before you have a chance to think anything through.

Yesterday I was just thinking about the song without actually listening to it and realized the big lie. There aren't sooo many songs about rainbows and whats on the other side. There is "Somewhere Over the Rainbow". That's one song. Even if there were another one, its not like there are soooo many. I can't believe all these years I have just listened to the song and accepted that there were sooo many songs about rainbows. That's deceit if i ever heard of it.

I think Kermit the Frog owes us all an apology.

Lawyers Without Borders

2009-01-25T15:33:00.005-07:00

I heard about how doctors travel to other countries to provide medical services for the less fortunate and wondered if lawyers did the same thing.

Personal injury lawsuits cover a lot of ground, but the most common lawsuits involve automobile accidents, on the job injuries, negligent health care, medical malpractice, defective products, exposure to hazardous substances and dangerous or poorly maintained buildings and grounds.

It brings a tear to my eyes when I think that there are people around the world that can't enjoy the spoils of a good lawsuit.

Every night when I lay down to sleep I always make sure to kneel down and give thanks to god for being able to live in the USA. The land where we have no shortage of lawyers. I think the reason those other countries are poor is because they don't have personal injury lawsuits to stimulate the economy.

I think if we can organize a Lawyers Without Borders charity, we can share the wealth and joy of a good lawsuit with the worlds less fortunate.

*I am not making fun of these poor kids in this picture. I used it because it shocked me so much when I saw it. These poor kids are from Somalia and by the looks of them they may not even still be alive. Hunger and poverty are serious issues. :(

Presidential Practical Jokes

2009-01-10T10:55:00.006-07:00

As Obama prepares to take over as president, people have a lot of questions. The thing I wonder is if former presidents ever play practical jokes on the president coming in.

It could be something as harmless as a bucket of confetti that will fall on the the president as he walks through the White House doors. The cellophane on the toilets or short sheeting the beds might be good too. Whoopee cushions in all the White House furniture would be a nice touch.

I think those are pretty tame compared to some of the stuff you could do with presidential power. Order a pizza to the residence of Dmitry Medvedev, Russia's president or get the secret service to put some burning doo doo on the porch of Hugo Chávez Frías, Venezuela's president.

Then there are the really great gags that only a president could do. Changing the color of 'Thee' button from red to green. "Whoops you just launch the nukes. Gotcha!" I think the night before the inauguration it would be funny to attack a bunch of countries. Imagine the surprise when red phone in the oval office is ringing of the hook with angry leaders complaining about the unprovoked attacks.

I think Bush will leave a dead fish in a drawer of the desk in the oval office. I maybe giving him too much credit though. He is probably the type to drop a load in the White House bathroom and leave without flushing it.

Whatever it ends up being I wish I could be there to see his reaction.

Success through Seccession

2008-12-17T12:20:00.008-07:00

The roll of our federal government seems to have grown beyond what our fore fathers had envisioned for it. Its gotten too big to manage very well and there isn't a realistic way to scale it back. Until now..

The phone company had the solution all the time and we just never saw it. I only pay for the services I want from the phone company. If I don't want callerId I don't have to pay for it. If I don't want call waiting I don't pay for it.

Here is the solution. We all secede from the union. At least in a way. Then the government offers services. If your state wants Federal Protection from invaders then you subscribe to that service. If you want socialized medicine then you can subscribe to that. Welfare, Medicare, Social Security? All services. Need the FBI or CIA for something? Contract them out.

Each state can decide what services it needs and then pay for what they use. Maybe the federal government can give volume discounts to people who use a service more.

Maybe this system would provide opportunities for entrepreneurs who are able to provide services at a better value. It sure would stop frivolous spending. A government that competed for customers would be capitalism at its greatest.

North Pole Bailout

2008-12-07T17:46:00.003-07:00

Santa Claus was in Washington D.C. this week. He was testifying before congress. It turns out that Santa's workshop has been running in the red this year. High fuel prices in the 2nd and 3rd quarters along with the elves unionizing have driven up costs. He is asking for a bailout package of 10 billion dollars.

One of the issues that was brought up by congress was the fact that Santa showed up in his personal sleigh and didn't take a commercial flight.

Hope he gets his bailout before christmas.

Insurance Reforms

2008-11-25T12:54:00.002-07:00

Something weird happened to me. I wasn't really going to share it with people because it makes me sound like an idiot. But I am so angry that I have to tell someone.

About a month ago I was sleeping in my bed. I had the window open to let in a nice breeze because I like the cool fall breeze at night. Anyway while I was sleeping I had the strangest feeling that I was being watched. I was half awake so when I saw two giant black eyes peering at me through the window I thought I was just dreaming.

I went back to sleep and in the morning everything was normal. I would have left it at that. I would have thought that nothing happened and it was just a dream. But here is the part that really makes me angry.

I got a statement from my health insurance company yesterday. In the explaination of benefits it had charges from these nocturnal visitors. I never asked for an anal probe. And what's more my insurance wouldn't cover it because they are an out of network provider.

I am so mad! I'm not going to pay it. I'm not even sure where I would send a check anyway.

Theaters Unfair to ADHD Sufferers

2008-07-28T14:23:00.005-06:00

I took my family to see Wall-E a couple of weeks ago. I think there was about a paragraph of dialogue in the whole movie. But that isn't what I wanted to blog about. When I bought the tickets it occurred to me that even though I am paying for 5 seats, I get the children's seats cheaper than the adult seats. I don't think that as an adult I am getting any better service from the staff at the theater. I don't get extra padded seats. I don't really get anything of any extra value that the kids do. In fact, kids actually should cost more than adults because they are noisy, they can't sit still and they can reduce the value of the experience for adults.

So am I saying they should raise the price of tickets for children at the movies? No, I just think they should charge less for adults or provide something extra for the extra money that adults pay to see a movie. Also last time I checked 14 year old kids weren't adults, but I pay the adult rate for my 14 year old daughter...oh wow I just figured the whole thing out. They charge more for people that actually can sit still through the movie because they actually are seeing more of the movie. My 2 year old pays less because he only sees 5% of the movie. The rest of the time he is running up and down the isle.

If this is the reason than there should be a discount for people who are ADHD.

Handy Crafts for Criminals

2008-06-11T12:12:00.003-06:00

I was thinking the idea to keep kids safer by putting orange tips on toy guns was a nice idea. I have read news stories where someone was holding a toy gun and police thought it was real and shot the person. I am not sure how often it happens, but when I checked google there were quite a few of these stories.

While I was thinking about how great all of this was I wondered, "Why don't criminals just by some flourescent paint and paint the tips of their guns?".

Technology and the Homeless Person

2008-06-10T12:36:00.004-06:00

I went to lunch with some friends last week. When we had finished and were walking to the car, we met a beggar. As we past him he asked us if we had any spare change. In this day of technical advances in payment options, I find that I almost never carry cash.

You can pay for almost anything with just the swipe of a card. There are still a few situations that this doesn't work in. (My daughter would tell you that the downside is that I don't always have cash when the ice cream truck comes down our street.)

So as I told this beggar that I didn't have any change I wondered if begging was now an outdated business model, like the newspaper or the RIAA. If more people are like me then it must be a lot harder to find people that are carrying loose change.

So here is the new business model for beggars. Carry a hand held credit card machine. It will make people like me feel less guilty for not having change on them, and its probably quicker to swipe my card than it is for me to dig through my pockets for some spare change. I think beggars would make more money per person as well. Who wants to swipe their card for something under a dollar?

If you become a millionare using this suggestion, send a few bucks my way.

When Did Tasers Become the In Thing?

2008-05-23T21:56:00.003-06:00

So I must really be out of the loop. I thought that tasers were just something cops carried, but it looks like there is a whole market for taser based technologies.

Who would have though that the Taser Would Go Pink? How about a Leopard Print Taser that Plays Music? Even Santa, Mom, Playboy bunnies, and poker star Phil Hellmuth are getting into the taser scene.

Even old people are getting into it: 'Don't Tase Me, Sonny Boy'; Cops Zap Naked Senior, but don't get to excited about tasers or this can happen: 'Taser Shock Triggers Fire in Man's Pants' .

If you think carrying a taser is fashionable enough, you could be wrong. Now you could wear your taser on your clothes: 'Peel and Stick' Tasers Electrify Riot Control or if you have a fear being tased you could try these taser proof clothes: Tase This, Sucker .

I know everyone has seen these videos a million times, but they serve as a good reminder of what not to do when you have a run in with the law.

Deaf Guy? Gets Tased:

Don't Tase Me Bro:

We Sold Our Souls For Rock and Roll

2008-04-25T22:52:00.010-06:00

I posted this you tube video of 'The Guitar Duel' from the movie 'Crossroads' (not the lame Britney Spears movie, it's the lame Ralph Macchio movie) on a blog I share with my fellow bus riders. Its a movie about a kid that is looking for a lost Robert Johnson song and runs into an old blues man that sold his soul to the devil at the crossroad in exchange for fame, which didn't turn out the way he had planned.

Anyway it got me thinking about some of the deals the devil has made and how he has sort of gotten cheap these days.

1. The Rolling Stones
I think the best deal ever brokered with the devil was the Rolling Stones. They have had lots of hits even after they lost Brian Jones in a swimming pool accident. I suspect that Keith Richards may have already died and is a zombie now. But for the most part they are still making money.

2. Elvis
I think Elvis got too good of a deal. Most rock stars die before they get old and fat. It may actually have been by the mercy of God that Elvis was taken when he was.

3. The Doors
The Doors got a pretty fair deal. Jim Morrison stayed alive long enough to finish up his good music. He was just starting into the fat bearded days. His last album L.A. Woman had some great songs on it. I think if he would have done one more album it wouldn't have been as good.

4. The Who
They had a pretty good career they recorded 8 studio albums before losing Keith Moon in his sleep after an overdose of Heminevrin (a medication prescribed to him to combat alcohol withdrawal symptoms)

5. Led Zeppelin
Zeppelin were very successful from 1969 until 1980 when John Bonham died. The cause of death was asphyxiation from vomit. 11 years, I'd say they got a pretty good deal.

6. Jimi Hendrix
From 1967-1970 Jimi Hedrix created some of them most incredible guitar music ever made. In 1970 he drowned on his own vomit which contained mostly red wine. Not a long career, but he definitely got his souls worth out of the deal.

7. Bad Finger
They had a good amount of success from 1969 until 1975 when Pete Ham hanged himself in his garage studio and in 1983 Tom Evans hanged himself in the garden - both were over issues of money they were owed but never got. I think this was the begining of the devils bad deals.

8. Nirvana
They reigned in the grunge movement and ruled the airwaves from 1989 until 1994 when Kurt Cobain shot himself with a Shotgun. 5 years is a pretty short run. I think Cobain got the bad end of that deal. On the bright side Dave Grohl has had a great career with the Foo Fighters.

9. Blind Melon
Formed in 1991 and recorded 2 albums before Shannon Hoon died in 1995 after an all-night cocaine binge. He was found dead on the tour bus by his roadies. I'd say not a very good deal with the devil.

10. Sublime
This is the worst deal ever. The band recorded 3 albums between 1992 and 1996. Lead singer Bradley Nowell died of heroin overdose on May 25, 1996 in a hotel room, just two months before the release of their self-titled third record, which became hugely successful. He didn't get to enjoy and fame or fortune.

So while making deals with the devil was all the rage in the 60's and 70's, it's not the lucrative business it once was. If you are even considering making such a deal I would suggest you get a real good attorney. Also you may want to add an extra guy to that band that is expendable. Like they do in landing parties on Star Trek.

Most of the information found here came from Wikipedia and a little hard work.

One thing I meant to mention, Robert Johnson (the original soul seller) was poisoned in a Juke Joint by the husband of a woman he was flirting with there.

Video Game Blame

2008-04-24T22:19:00.008-06:00

** Production has begun on DOOM 4™ **

Sometimes I poke fun at video games by blaming things on them. Incase the sarcasm is missed, I just wanted to clarify my opinion on video games.

When I was 3 years old the game pong was released originally as a coin-operated arcade game by Atari Inc. It was on November 29, 1972.

Then came the Atari 2600 home video game console. I spent a lot of my hard earned money on games with big square pixelated games.

When I was in grade school I got my first computer. It was a little TRS-80 that attached to your TV set and had tiny little keys. I would by computer magazines that would list programming code in it. I would spend all day long typing in the code. Then I would debug it. Then if I was lucky It would work and I could play the game I spent all day typing into it. I would do that the rest of the day. Then, because I had no storage when I turned off the computer the game would be gone. I finally got a tape recorder that would save the program to audio casette. I went through a ti-99, Atari 800XL, IBM XT, Windows 3.1, 98, NT, XP. I ended up being a computer programmer.

I remember when the video game Doom came out. It was a very cool game. My buddy and I would play over the modem together. We even made our own levels. It still is a cool game.

When the Columbine High murders happened news outlets made sure to mention that the killers were fans of playing Doom. Since then it seems like a lot of people blame video games for everything wrong with society.

That is why I joke around and blame video games for all our woes.

I promise video games are not inherently evil. They don't create killers. I played video games all my life and I have never hurt anybody.

Gym Class / Running in the Halls

2008-04-21T21:39:00.005-06:00

When I was in High School I thought it was lame that gym was a required class. I used to think that the district was overstepping their authority by making me take it. They want to make sure I get enough exercise? Who is watching their exercise? Next thing they will want to make sure I am eating right too. Oh wait they did do that as well. With the school lunch/breakfast programs and it seems like someone was always trying to replace the candy in the vending machines with healthy snacks.

After I got home from school I would hangout with my friends. We played basketball, football, Frisbee, tennis, skateboarding, biking and ran a lot to get away when we pulled pranks or threw water balloons at cars.

Now I think kids get home from school and either sit in front of the computer, the television, the video game console or maybe even do homework.

Because of this I have changed my mind about gym being a required class. Not only should gym be required, I would take it even further and suggest that they encourage kids to run in the halls. That would give a kid 9 times a day to get a little cardiovascular workout. Students and Faculty would probably have to wear helmets and pads to avoid injury, but I think the benefits outweigh the risks.

But remember no "Running With Scissors".

Uppercase and the Upper Class

2008-04-17T22:18:00.005-06:00

i went to my daughters kindergarten orientation tonight. they gave us hints of things we could do to prepare our children for school. one of the things they said was not to teach your kid to right their names all in one case.

it made me wonder why we even have capital letters and small letters. whats the point? the only real reason is to show that something is important. like a persons name or the title of something. i think they were created by someone who needed to feel important.

look at the states, the most important city in the state is the capitol city. the 'most important' letters are capitals.

capital letters are stuck-up. they think they are better than the lowercase letters. i bet if you were a lowercase letter that was attracted to an uppercase letter its parents would disapprove of you. they probably wouldn't let their uppercase progeny date a lowercaser.

if you are a lowercase letter you come from the wrong side of the sentence. lowercase is equal to lower class. uppercase is equal to upper class. its the whole caste system in linguistics.

i think the time has come to streamline the alphabet by doing away with capital letters. capitalism was a great system in its hay day, but i think its time to overthrow the uppercase.

power to the people.

Hey, Teacher. Leave Us Kids Alone.

2008-04-13T23:31:00.008-06:00

I remember from first grade an experience that still bothers me today. My teacher had me go to the other first grade teachers coat closet to find my coat. While I was in there I bump a box of wood blocks and one fell on the floor. The teacher yelled at me and made me sit in the corner of her classroom. I felt so wronged.

Well the kids nowadays don't take that kind of crap from teachers anymore. They organize.

In WAYCROSS, GA nine students who were mad at their teacher planned to get even with her. They brought in a broken steak knife, a crystal paper weight, toy handcuffs, several items and tape and stuff.

She must have really made the kids upset for them to actually plan out an attack and then actually bring the stuff to do it.

While I am not condoning violence, I think there is a lesson to be learned here.

Jesus said, "Whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea" (Matthew 18:6).

I think it was a parable and he really meant "its better to be drowned in the depths of the sea than to have the kids hit you on the head with a paper weight, handcuff you and stab you with a broken steak knife.

It could just be that these were troubled kids anyway that have a distorted sense of reality. Probably from playing too many video games and listening to too much heavy metal and I am sure TV violence is in there somewhere. Maybe they weren't held enough as babies, or maybe held too much and of course the video games, video games, video games.

VIOLENCE IS NEVER THE ANSWER!!! Besides, that first grade teacher who scarred me for life is already dead. She seemed ancient when i was in school. She must have been a hundred when she finally died. Guess the devil was afraid of her too.

Here are some non-violent ways to get back at your teacher, because jail is a scary place for kids. Almost as scary as the FLDS compound.

Shade Hall, A Member of Mrs. Wolfe's 4th Grade Class at Wiggin Street School came up with these ideas:

1.) Follow her or him around. This bugs my teacher because you're supposed to be getting your work done, but you're not.

2.) Interrupt the teacher during math class, while she is teaching you another way to subtract, you could yell out "This is boring!"

3.) Walk around when class is going on. This bugs your teacher because you are supposed to be doing work.

4.) When your teacher tells you to get your stuff don't get it. Instead get it in class.

5.) Talk. Don't do any work.

6.) Ask to go to the restroom every five seconds. Your teacher will get mad because you are not doing work.

7.) Pretend you are sick for a long time, and if you don't get caught for a year, go on the last day so you get your report card.

8.) Pull all the books off the shelves. This bugs my teacher because if she does not catch you, she has to pick it up.

9.) Sleep during class. I have never done this because it is always noisy.

10.) Run in the class room. This really bugs my teacher. I wrote this book because all this stuff really bugs my teacher.

Cat on the Cob

2008-03-30T21:56:00.003-06:00

Recently we have all heard that there is a wheat shortage this year. I have heard the reason for this is because wheat farmers have stopped growing wheat and switched to corn to be used for ethanol. There is a subsidy being paid for the corn so of course farmers switched.

What I have read about corn ethanol claims that its costs almost $2 a gallon to produce and that it doesn't make a very good fuel anyway. At first I thought that was a bad thing because all of our corn supply also would end up being diverted to corn ethanol. But then I found out somethings about corn.

Corn is bad for you. Most everything we eat now days has High Fructose Corn Syrup in it and livestock is fed mostly corn. In the 1980s scientist started discovering that grains, grain-based foods, and grain-fed livestock products are the root cause for most if not all of today's major chronic diseases (body failings): Cancer, depression, obesity, allergies, autoimmune diseases such as lupus and arthritis, diabetes, asthma, and more.

Amazingly, the worst grain is corn! Not only does it have the worst fatty acid profile (Omega-6 to Omega-3 ratio) of nearly all grains (which skews the fat balance in the membranes of all animal body cells negatively impacting cell function), but it is also a fungal host to 22 different fungi including Aspergillus. Some of these fungi put out body debilitating mycotoxins that can literally kill animals and people. (see Texas grass fed beef website)

I support the president in his new campaign to steer clear of corn raised beef and all other corn products and start eating healthy grass feed cats. Hope this information will help convince you to do the same. Pass the butter please.

(PETA, I am just kidding. Please don't eat your cats.)

Takin' Care of Business while Takin' Care of Business

2008-03-26T22:04:00.006-06:00

This afternoon I ate lunch at my desk. It was around one o'clock and I had already downed 3 diet mountain dews. Nature being the way it is I went for a stroll to the porcelain cubicle. As I approached the urinal I could hear talking in the stall.

Had this been some crazy person talking to themselves I think I would have ignored it. It turns out though that it was someone talking on the phone while they were takin' care of business. I guess they were takin' care of business while they were takin' care of business.

This must be the busiest person in the world. They don't even have time to make a phone call during the day. They have to do it while they take a potty break.

I wonder if you are talking to an important business contact on the throne how you would explain some of the noises that are sure to come up in the back ground. "I don't mean to drop this load on you..ahh Its a lot of responsibility. I know your work load is heavy but if you could just squeeze out...ewe ah...a little more productivity we could meet our numbers this month...frip... oh that was just a car driving by...water? Just turned on the wiper blades.

I have decided a couple of things from this experience. 1. Never ever ask someone if you can borrow their cell phone for any reason. 2. I know how germs are spread so easy. Contaminate hands, contaminate phone, wash hands, reuse phone, recontaminate hands.

Comcast Tests DVR That Watches You... Literally

2008-03-23T22:03:00.003-06:00

I was reading this article about a DVR that has a camera in it and it reminded me of the Telescreens in George Orwell's book 1984.

Does this seem like a good idea to anybody? The fact that anyone is working on this is strange in of itself.

I mean on an innocent level I don't want anyone watching me pick my nose or scratching an itch. But on a more serious note who will be watching these cameras? Do I really want some stranger knowing when I am home or not? Dennis Raider the BTK Killer installed security systems for a living. Tell me that's not a conflict of interest.

So much for my dream of having a DVR near the bathtub. I can see it now. "Hey, Kavorka. Enjoyed the video of you taking a bath on youtube. Can you do us a favor and loose a few pounds? Oh and the boss would like to talk to you."

I already have a DVR in my bedroom. Guess I could place tape over the lens. How will they get people to put these things in their houses. People hate that feeling that their being watched. I think that's one of the rights mentioned in the Declaration of Independence:

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness without that creepy feeling that you are being watched."

Anyway I don't think any amount of free programming or free equipment could make me change my mind.

But if you want me to monitor the Telescreens at supermodels houses, I'll do it for free.

Japan Experiments with Whale/Cow Crossbreed

2008-03-13T21:36:00.007-06:00

According to this article Japan has experimented with attempts to crossbreed a cow and a whale.

My first thought is wow how they gonna milk that thing? It would be great to get so much milk from just one cow, but you would need a big machine to milk it.

If it lives in the sea would the milk taste fishy? If it roamed the land watch out, you think cow patties are bad now. You could get lost in one of these babies.

Then there are those steak houses that have a big steak that you can eat for free if you can finish it. Well kiss those days goodbye. No one can eat a 1000 pound steak.

I could with enough A1, but who makes a bottle that big?

Belt Buckles the Size of Plates

2008-03-11T23:05:00.003-06:00

So the other day I saw a guy with a buckle the size of a plate. Me being that practical guy that I am, I thought man someone really should make a belt buckle plate.

You could have belt buckle base that would contain a really strong magnet. Then there would be a plate with a nice engraving on the front. On the back you could have a place for a spoon, fork and knife to hook on.

When you went to a restaurant you could just rip the plate away from the magnet and grab the silverware off the back and set your place at the table.

Just think about the looks you would get from the ladies. That's a real man that carries his plate on his belt buckle. You probably don't want to know my idea of where you store the cup. But it can double as..well a cup.

Dinner is served.

Day Light Savings Suggestion

2008-03-07T21:59:00.005-07:00

So I was talking with one of my friends at the bus stop about day light savings time and how it sucks losing an hour of sleep.

I personally don't understand why we still follow it. But we came up with an idea that I think will take the edge off the whole situation.

In the spring when we have to loose an hour, we should do it during the week. Probably about 4PM on a Friday would be good. You would be sitting at your desk trying to make it through that last hour of work and through the power of day light savings its suddenly 5PM. Hello weekend.

Brilliant. The Day light savings experience goes from something bad that gets people down, to a sort of holiday. Since you would clock in at 8 and clock out at 5 you would get paid for that hour that you didn't work too.

I wonder if any of the presidential canidates have that as part of their platform?

Energy Pollutions

2008-03-01T15:38:00.006-07:00

So I am hearing a lot about Energy Solutions wanting to bring waste from Italy to Utah. I am trying to understand why?

It seems to me the only reason you would dump waste from another community into your own community is if there were a whole lot of money in it for you. Even better if you could dump it in someone elses community and make a lot of money off it.

There is no good reason besides making money to dump other peoples waste here. If the waste makes it here it will just be proof that a lot of people were paid off. How can a government by the people for the people see any logical argument for dumping other peoples crap here? If its our garbage we deserve to wallow in it, but let Italy keep their own waste.

And while I am talking about "Energy Soulutions" formerly "Envirocare"... Why did they change their name? Did people start to realize that they do the opposite of caring for the enviroment? Or did they just get enough bad press that they decided to change it? Having our basketball team play at the Energy Solutions Arena is almost as big of a joke as the "Isotopes" on the "Simpsons".

I guess dumping hazardous waste is one "Solution" to energy. Its not the best one I can think of, but I guess its more honest then using the name "Envirocare".

Scratch-and-Sniff

2008-02-22T20:45:00.005-07:00

I have been thinking about scratch-and-sniff stuff lately. I used to love that stuff. Stickers and books that had little pictures that you would scratch and then you could smell them and they would smell like the picture.

One of my friends pointed out that they always seemed to have a skunk one on whatever it was. Who wants to smell that.

Wikipedia says that the sense of smell is easily stored in long-term memory and that it has a strong connection to emotional-memory. So I wonder why they don't use scratch-and-sniff in text books. I would become a genius overnight. If someone wrote a novel and added scratch-and-sniff pictures I bet it would be an instant classic.

Manufacturers should put a scratch-and-sniff on the outside of their products. Imagine if you were shopping at the grocery store and you wondered if you might like a certain flavor of ice cream. You could scratch-and-sniff it and get a pretty good idea of what it might taste like.

Probably don't need scratch-and-sniff diapers, meat or that kind of thing. But then nobody is forcing you to actually scratch the thing.

I look forward to the day when scratch-and-sniff technology will be rediscovered. I just hope the technology isn't being suppressed by the olfactory challenged.

What to look for in a girl? Hot tattoos?

2008-02-11T10:20:00.001-07:00

So I have been riding the bus for quite awhile now and I know a lot of people on the bus from all walks of life. I like that about the bus. The one thing it helps me remember is that mine is only one perspective on life.

When I was dating I was looking for a woman that I thought would be a good mother, responsible and of course attractive.

But you can see from the following is a conversation I had with one of my fellow bus patrons. That mine is only one perspective on what to look for in a girl.

fellow bus rider: "I hope this girl I met is here today."

me: "Oh you met a girl on this bus?"

fellow bus rider: "Yeah, she has really hot tats."

me: "hmm yea, that's what I look for in a woman, nice tats."

fellow bus rider: "Oh cool there she is."

me: "Good luck."

If that isn't love at first sight I don't know what is. It almost brought a tear to my eye seeing this young couple falling in love.

National Homicidal/Suicidal Maniac Registry

2007-12-21T21:39:00.000-07:00

So I was thinking I should start a national registry to hook up people who are suicidal with serial killers. I it would help to take away the negative stigma attached to serial killers. They could be thought of as part of the service industry, like garbage collectors or plumbers or something like that.

If you are inexperienced and try to kill yourself you may bungle the thing up. What if you just manage to leave yourself physically or mentally handicapped. If you think your were unhappy before try life with only half a head. It would free up a lot of space in prison too.

Sparking Up a Conversation

2007-12-06T12:15:00.000-07:00

This morning while waiting at the bus stop with my bus buddies I heard a terrible sound. It was like someone dragging silverware across the floor only at 35 miles an hour. I looked up and saw an Albertsons truck and underneath it there were sparks flying everywhere. They were spraying out 3 feet from either side of the under carraige. As the truck went by you could see a grocery cart stuck underneath it. It looked pretty cool.

Next time you are in the grocery store and you get a cart that pulls slightly to one side or squeaks miserably, maybe you shouldn't be too upset. That poor grocery cart has probably been through a whole lot more than you might imagine.

Anyway it was the topic of conversation on the journey to work today.

Girls go to Jupiter to get More Stupider

2007-10-16T21:35:00.001-06:00

So the other day when I sat down on the bus I noticed a young girl holding a ball. It was a big orange and red globe made from paper. I said, "What is that." She said, "Its Jupiter. I had to make it for a report I am doing for a class at school." My friend on the bus asked, "So what do you know about Jupiter?" Her reply was so funny I laughed in front of her. She said, "I don't know. I am just going to look something up on the internet in my first period class."

Hope she doesn't become a doctor when she grows up.

Smoke `em if ya got 'em....Please!

2007-10-05T21:22:00.001-06:00

So this morning on the bus I was sitting up at the front just before the seats that are facing the opposite direction. An old lady got on and sat in front of me. Its the closest you can sit to someone on the bus with out sitting on their lap.

My first thought was whew this lady smells like cigarette smoke. Man its pretty over powering. Then a little breeze blew a little smell over that was worse. Sour old lady smell. Whew. I don't know if being old makes you smell more, or if its just harder to get bathed. But I was happy for the smokey smell to settle back in.

I remember an episode of M.A.S.H. where Charles was trying to learn more about what happened when people died. A man is dying in front of him and he asks him to describe whats going on. The man said, "I smell bread baking". Maybe heaven smells like baking bread. I imagine hell will smell like the bus: smoke, alcohol, B.O. and Urine.

If you want a preview of hell ride the bus.

Prejudice in the Fat-shion Industry

2007-10-03T15:09:00.001-06:00

I was shopping in my favorite grocery store the other day and I noticed they were selling sports shirts for the local college teams. As I was browsing through them I noticed that they were charging $2.00 extra for the bigger sizes. While I expect the evil empire Wal-mart to do something like this to make more money it broke my heart to see my beloved little grocery store do the same.

You may think its logical because it takes more fabric to make a bigger shirt. If that were so then shouldn't they charge less money for baby clothes?

I just think its a way to squeeze another couple dollars out of the wallet of the portly person. I think it is a sad day when the man tries to stick it to their corpulent customers. Its just another prejudice against the fat.

Fat people of the world unite and take over!

Dead Skin and Dander

2007-09-27T15:51:00.002-06:00

Since it has turned to fall the temperature is harder to predict. The bus no longer runs the airconditioning in the evening on the way home. But its pleasant outside and I enjoy getting the breeze from outside coming in through the window. It seemed to me that it would also be healthier breathing fresh air than the musty air of the bus with the windows closed.

But as I look around the bus I start to wonder if thats really true. When I see the wind blowing through someones hair across the bus from me I wonder if I am breathing in that persons dead skin and hair particles. I will probably get hepatitis or some flesh eating bacteria. I guess I could get lice from the seats.

Life is too short to worry about all that. So bring it on. It will just strengthen my immune system until I am unstoppable.

World domination will soon be mine!

For all intents and purposes

2007-09-06T12:00:00.001-06:00

So on my bus ride home last night the guy sitting across from me starts crouching down all weird. I am thinking, "What's wrong with this guy?". Then I can see he is pulling a Budweiser out of his backpack and pouring it into his McDonalds softdrink cup. I thought it was funny because he wasn't very sly about it and he reeks of alcohol already.

Of course the bus always smells like alcohol anyway. I mean really, how do you think people get around who have had their licenses taken away for drinking and driving.